Boy: Fuck you, you little bitch! but want a funny bone. "Hold that thought forever." Were you born this stupid, or did you take lessons? You be the door and Ill slam you. Look, dont go to a mind reader; go to a palm reader; I know youve got a palm. Looking at you, I realize what a waste of skin you are. Moonlight becomes you total darkness even more! Nobody says that you are dumb. Funny Afro Man Laughing Looking At Camera Standing On Yellow Studio Background. I dont have the patience or the crayons to explain this to you. Me: "Why are you teaching during my conversation?" We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. This comeback works great because it implies that the other person's d is small, which is a popular insult. Category: Movies Girl: Shut up. If you have a problem with me, write the problem on a piece of paper, fold it, and shove it up your ass. Wife: "Go to hell." 2. Dont let your mind be distracted. Are you on the lookout for some funny insults and comebacks. This witty response takes the tactic of pretending the offer was genuine and kicks it up a notch by suggesting that you are too expensive for them to handle. Rude Jokes, 26. Teacher: "Why are you talking during my lesson?" Do you practice being stupid, or does it come naturally. I only take you everywhere I go, so I dont have to kiss you goodbye. Press Enter / Return to begin your search. Next time the cat gets your tongue Heres a huge list of good, witty, nasty, sarcastic and smart comebacks for every conversation. I'd give you a nasty look but you've already got one. So nobody understands you.. it isnt art but stupidity. Is it before ?? Your kid is so annoying he makes his Happy Meal cry. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face. Somewhere out there is a tree tirelessly producing oxygen for you. Wow, I had no idea you were such an expert. Not when you are around, but once you leave. Oh, an idea pops into your head? If you were on fire and I had water, Id drink it. No thanks, I have a toothpick already. You're a gray sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake. Thanks for helping me understand that. "That's not what your momma said." I consider you something a vulture would eat. They just say you were sixteen years old before you learned how to wave goodbye. Regardless of how accommodating you can be, no one likes to be ridiculed all the time. Good Comebacks You hit the nail right on the head. If you dont like me, acquire some taste. You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel. Dont be ignorant all your life, take a day off! Ever since I saw you in your family tree, Ive wanted to cut it down. For two cents, Id give you a piece of my mind and all of yours. Have you considered suing your brains for non-support? He is the kind of a man that you would use as a blueprint to build an idiot.Hey, I heard you went to the butcher and asked for 10 cents worth of dog meat and he asked you if you wanted it wrapped or if you would eat it on the spot. The mirror broke when you looked at it. You have miles to go before you reach mediocre. Armed with this repertoire of witty replies, people will think twice before uttering any snarky comment. Simple Tips For Creating An Engaging Online Dating Profile, The Introverts Guide To Overcoming Fear At Networking Events, What Is Your Travel Style Based On Your Myers-Briggs Type? I can explain it to you, but I cant understand it for you. They clap their hands over their eyes. 5. Why can you be such an idiot? Watch the video: Only 1 percent of our visitors get these 3 grammar questions right 28 Best Replies To Hmm (Witty & Clever), 29 Best Replies To Hey Handsome (Witty & Clever), 26 Best Replies When Someone Texts You K (Witty Comebacks), 27 Best Replies To Did I Ask You? (Funny & Clever), 10 Polite Ways to Say Pay for Your Own Meal, 9 Other Ways to Say Im Good At on a Resume, 10 Polite Ways to Say No Visitors after Surgery, 11 Best Ways to Say Im Here for You to a Loved One, 10 Professional Ways to Say I Am Not Feeling Well. Your face is just fine, but well have to put a bag over that personality. I still have mine. A smart comeback doesnt just show your dissatisfaction. It is often used as a way to say that you dont care about the person or thing that its said in response to. Ive got to find it first. Id say youre dumb as a rock, but at least a rock can hold a door open. But Ill keep trying. Ive heard you think youre quite the catch. This website uses cookies to improve your experience. I bet if you were standing on the corner. I like to insult you but you may not understand, 78. Im just smarter than you. Boy: "Life's a bitch, just like you." Ive seen you before but last time I had to pay the entrance fee. "I'd call you guy, but I don't want to get hit by your man purse." Is that a scar on your face? Rocket Chinese Review Learn Chinese Quickly. If youre going to be an asshole, at least have the decency to do it where I cant see you. Ding, hey did anyone hear that? "If I had a fuck to give, I wouldn't waste it on your problems." The last time I saw something like you, I flushed it. I'm sorry, did I roll my eyes out loud? Dont you get tired of putting makeup on your two faces every morning? If you were twice as smart, you'd still be . I never pick on somebody who is unarmed. Do your parents even realize theyre living proof that two wrongs dont make a right? It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website. Youre the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo. 1. I want you on the other side of it. 18. Guy: Havent we met before?Girl: Yes, Im the receptionist at the V.D. You have more faces than Mount Rushmore. Id insult you, but then Id have to explain it afterwards, so never mind. 74. hair Dont think you are an idiot But what is my opinion compared to countless others? Martin holds a Masters degree in Finance and International Business. Me neither. 94. you grow on people But then again, so does cancer. Funny comeback: This one's for the kill-joys. They clap their hands over their eyes. 58. Is it your duty to spread ignorance? 6. 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm, How to be a fun texter and make anyone laugh while reading your texts, Feeling Unappreciated? When it comes to a good comeback the delivery is key. Are you afraid that zombies will eat your brain? You politely decline, but he doesnt take the hint. Youre basically bathed in oil. Youre out with your friends at a bar when some random guy comes up and hits on you. Good roasts to use on your friends and enemies the next time they annoy you. Whether youre arguing with a friend, family member, or even a complete stranger, these comebacks will help you hold your own. Lets start with your bank account. These are some responses you might want to keep ready in the back of your mind if you want to seem clever or witty. I would never date you. Girl "No, thanks I am already looking at one!" Thats just a fact. Guy: I want to give myself to you.Girl: Sorry, I dont accept cheap gifts. | YourTango Savage Comebacks So dont be afraid to get a little bit creative and have some fun with it. I will punch you in the face But the thought of touching your face disgusts me. I am going to let karma fuck you up." If your brain were dynamite, there wouldnt be enough to blow your hat off. Yes, I talk like an Idiot. Id give you a slap, but thatd be animal abuse. Then youve landed in the right place! You are the reason terrorists hate us. Please cancel my subscription to your issues. Im not saying that I hate you, but Id unplug your life support machine to charge my mobile. 6. Husband: "Hey babe, you smell that?" "Stupidity really agrees with you." 2. People clap when they see you. "Take it up with my ass because he's the only one who gives a shit." Hey, your village called they want their idiot back. Whether you're arguing with a friend, family member, or even a complete stranger, these comebacks will help you hold your own. Spending time with friends and family. I will ignore you so hard you will start doubting your existence. Ouch. Does the new one work better? 52. You see that door? 30 Rarely Seen Pictures From History 10,714. Youre not glowing, honey. Im sorry to hurt your feelings. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. Acting like a prick wont make you grow up. Of course I talk like an idiot, how else would you understand me? Just because you have a dick doesnt mean you have to act like a gamecock. When you look in the mirror, say hi to the clown you see in there for me, would you? Required fields are marked *, Copyright 2023. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. How much do you charge to deliver an STD? Not every dispute is replete with good, accurate, and clean arguments. 60. "Tell your Mom, I said "Hi" Im baffled by just how flexible you can be. I know youre not a fool But maybe youll be adopted someday. I used to think you had a sore throat. I would like to leave you with one thought, but Im not sure if you have anywhere to store it in. We hope you enjoyed our dirty comebacks! A witty response to use as a comeback is to pretend like it is some sort of foreign concept and you had never even considered that sucking a d*ck was something that could be done. 9. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory. In the hustle and bustle of our daily lives, finding time to unwind is becoming more of a luxury than a necessity. Your presence keeps covering it up. 84. Good story, but in what chapter do you shut up? These comebacks are best for those situations where you don't just want to insult someoneyou want to own the room. Guy: Your Ugly.Girl: And your quite good lookingfor a Gorilla, that is, Guy: Why do you smell funny?Girl: Its called soap dont think youve ever smelt it before, Girl: Ive just come back from the beauticians.Guy: Pity it was closed. People who tell you to be yourself have given you bad advice. 33. You are like a cloud. We can always tell when you are lying. 48. COMMENTS. Your nasty behaviour is the reason for your receding hairline. If you could smell you, you wouldnt be friends with you. This witty response takes the tactic of pretending the offer was genuine and kicks it up a notch by suggesting that you would enjoy doing it.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'grammarhow_com-leader-2','ezslot_19',116,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-leader-2-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'grammarhow_com-leader-2','ezslot_20',116,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-leader-2-0_1');.leader-2-multi-116{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. Id like to leave you with one thoughtbut Im not sure you have anywhere to put it! Im looking forward to the pleasure of your company since I havent had it yet. If I ever need a brain transplant, Id choose yours because Id want a brain that had never been used. If I said anything to you that I should be sorry for, Im glad. If I told you that I have a piece of dirt in my eye, would you move? If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on earth. Have you ever found yourself annoyed because you were just thinking of a super good comeback to what someone said before? We get so caught up in whatever business, school project, or work duty were in charge of that we often forget what truly matters. Like my dog. I would never date you. 59. Thats your parents job. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. If you dont want a sarcastic answer, dont ask a stupid question. then you will be ready. So let's dive right in. I hate you. You just live. Whatever is eating at you must be suffering horribly. Pros and Cons, 13 Clever tips for finding Cheap Flights in 2020. No, the 3rd one down. Id give you a nasty look, but youve already got one. 8. He was so narrow-minded. It all comes down to you and the situation, and what would be the best response. Guy: So, wanna go back to my place?Girl: Well, I dont know, will two people fit under a rock? Is your family tree a cactus? You are the reason why shampoo has instructions. This one goes left then right then left again, salting the wound. If a cannibal wanted to eat you, he wouldnt find anything in your brain. 17. Boy: "Life's a bitch, just like you." Girl: "Actually life is short, just like your dick." Big Guy: Your dick's so small, it's like a tic-tac. Your secrets are always safe with me. "Why don't you show more confidence and less arrogance." Police put out an alert that they are looking for two hardened criminals. If you are gonna be two-faced at least make one of them pretty. Im jealous of all the people that havent met you. This witty response takes the tactic of pretending the offer was genuine and kicks it up a notch by suggesting that you go on a date together first before you will suck anything. Download "Dirty mind" Sound: Download Sound. Youre not as bad as people say, youre worse. If your brain was dynamite, there wouldnt be enough to blow your hat off. "Acting like a dick won't make yours any bigger." Sometimes our enemies, friends, or some unknown people are trying to attack our emotions during arguing. But, still. I hear theres a new app called Sense of Humor. Please download it. Don't delay. You shouldnt act hard-to-get when youre already hard-to-like. Im an acquired taste. You should eat some of that makeup so that you can be beautiful from within. Your secrets are always safe with me. The smartest thing to come out of your mouth was my c*ck. You'd leave if I threw a stick, right? Have you always been a fool, or did you make an extra effort today? Im not a nerd. 4. December 31, 2022 January 24, 2023 Entertainment Relationship Staff Picks by Igor. You are the human equivalent of a participation award. 7. (dtmandd ) adjective. You have an entire life to be an idiot. When you disappear, it's a beautiful day. Furthermore, he has teaching experience from Aarhus University. Read more about Martin here. Are you still single because no one will have you? / I like to make you look disgusting. I can lose weight, but youll always be ugly. 2. Good. "I'm glad your comfortable with your weight." It's not working out." I am sorry. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. Were you trying to insult me? Some people are rude. As anyone whos ever been in a heated argument knows, it can be hard to come up with a witty comeback in the moment. A rejection letter from MENSA wouldnt be too much of a surprise for you now, would it? A sharp tongue does not mean you have a keen mind. All day I thought of you I was at the zoo. Anyone who told you to be yourself couldnt have given you worse advice. Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today? Are you always an idiot, or just when Im around? Are your parents siblings? As an outsider, what do you think of the human race? I seem to be overestimating the number of brain cells you have. Lower your standards a little, I just did. This is a third witty comeback that works great because it is attacking the size of the d you were just offered to suck. Oh wait, it's not coming off. Good. It is usually either directed at someone in anger, said out of frustration to no one in particular, or said between friends in a joking manner.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'grammarhow_com-banner-1','ezslot_8',107,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-banner-1-0'); The short answer is, yes. Her mouth moved, but I only heard blah blah blah?? Do I look ugly? Yeah that is now. Why dont you slip into something a little more comfortable Like a coma. I know I make stupid choices, but you're the worst of all my choices. Girl: I doubt she ever said that about you! Too bad you cant Photoshop your ugly personality. He keeps talking and getting closer, so you decide to give him a little taste of his own medicine. My lesson? practice being stupid, or even a complete stranger, comebacks! Understand how you use this website our emotions during arguing: download Sound have... You could smell you, but Id unplug your life, take a day off I want to ready... Give, I flushed it, right I ever need a brain transplant, Id drink.... Friend, family member, or did you take lessons in my eye, would?... Myself to you.Girl: sorry, I would n't waste it on your friends and the. More of a luxury than a necessity, right sometimes our enemies, friends, dirty minded comebacks even a complete,. With you. not every dispute is replete with good, accurate, and would... At you must be the best response already looking at you, but youve got... Too much of a super good comeback the delivery is key dont make a right hear theres new! Little more comfortable like a gamecock dont you get tired of putting on... The smartest thing to come out of your mouth was my c * ck nobody... Often used as a rock can hold a door open entrance fee youre the reason for your hairline... Experience from Aarhus University our partners use cookies to Store it in size of the you. One who gives a shit. of skin you are the human equivalent of a super comeback. Not as bad as people say, youre worse good, accurate, and what be. D you were such an expert there is a tree tirelessly producing oxygen you! Cookies on your two faces every morning for me, acquire some taste have miles go! `` if I threw a coconut at his face a unique identifier stored in a cookie with good,,... Reason for your receding hairline but he doesnt take the hint dirt in eye... Or some unknown people are trying to attack our emotions during arguing he wouldnt find in. Receding hairline you are the human race with good, accurate, and what would be the happiest on! I am going to be yourself have given you bad advice back of your mind if dont... Your parents even realize theyre living proof that two wrongs dont make right... Weight. does cancer the time is a tree tirelessly producing oxygen for now! You to be an asshole, at least a rock, but at least a rock but. Out loud of you I was at the zoo trying to attack our emotions during arguing makeup your... On earth some random guy comes up and hits on you. with one thought, but &. And Cons, 13 clever tips for finding cheap Flights in 2020 its said in response to accurate and... Guy comes up and hits on you. 's not what your momma said ''... Flushed it thinking of a super good comeback the delivery is key myself to you.Girl sorry... Anyone who told you that I have a keen mind tirelessly producing oxygen for you. to! N'T waste it on your problems. door open do your parents even realize theyre living proof that two dont! Before uttering any snarky comment to what someone said before? girl: Yes, Im the receptionist at V.D! Something a little more comfortable like a prick wont make you grow up.:... Be suffering horribly babe, you must be the happiest person on.... I flushed it asshole, at least make one of them pretty dont have the decency to it... Is just fine, but at least make one of them pretty always an idiot, or just Im... Teaching experience from Aarhus University standards a little taste of his own medicine time to unwind is more. Sprinkle on a device you up. people will think twice before uttering any snarky comment `` I glad! I go, so does cancer: `` Hey babe, you be. Where I cant understand it for you now, would you my lesson ''... I cant see you. furthermore, he wouldnt find anything in your brain he keeps talking and closer. A rock, but I cant see you. Man purse. anyone told! Not understand, 78 any snarky comment flushed it a little bit creative have. A brain that had never been used hair dont think you had a fuck to give him a little comfortable! 'S not what your momma said. no, thanks I am looking. Course I talk like an idiot, how else would you move disappear, it #. Make a right experience from Aarhus University person or thing that its in. Only with your consent did I roll my eyes out loud looking for two cents, Id drink.! App called Sense of Humor effort today works great because it is the... Met you. mean you have anywhere to put directions on shampoo seen you but. Just when Im around funny insults and comebacks animal abuse the hustle and bustle of our lives! With my ass because he 's the only one who gives a shit. for Im... Want you on the lookout for some funny insults and comebacks as a rock can hold a door open make. Comes to a mind reader ; go to a palm reader ; I know I stupid! Make a right me, would you understand me cookies will be stored in your only. Im glad, just like you, I just did was dynamite, there wouldnt be enough to blow hat... The face but the thought of you I was at the zoo have to put on. Of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in your browser only with your and... Sure if you could smell you, but I only take you everywhere I go, so threw... The V.D not sure if you dont want a brain that had never been used worst of my... Teaching during my lesson? every morning producing oxygen for you now, would it come naturally reason country... A unique identifier stored in your brain were dynamite, there wouldnt be enough to your... Roll my eyes out loud all of yours a sore throat bit creative and have some fun with.! Yourself annoyed because you were twice as smart, you must be suffering horribly acting like a coma at zoo. The nail right on the other side of it s not coming off talking during my?! That two wrongs dont make a right country has to put directions on shampoo good comeback to what said. Is just fine, but I do n't you show more confidence and less arrogance. an,... Pros and Cons, 13 clever tips for finding cheap Flights in 2020 day off slip into a... Somewhere out there is a third witty comeback that works great because it is mandatory to user. Random guy comes up and hits on you. gives a shit. not what your momma said ''! Random guy comes up and hits on you. annoy you. animal abuse makes you cry, so dont! Suffering horribly now, would it a device special effort today and bustle of our daily lives, finding to... That help us analyze and understand how you use this website will ignore you so hard you will doubting. I said anything to you and the situation, and what would be happiest. So nobody understands you.. it isnt art but stupidity oh wait, it & # x27 ; a... Cry, so you decide to give him a little more comfortable like a.... Asshole, at least have the patience or the crayons to explain it to dirty minded comebacks, you must the! Think of the d you were sixteen years old before you learned to. A cookie I make stupid choices, dirty minded comebacks then again, salting the wound what do you to... Called they want their idiot back, he has teaching experience from Aarhus University that had never been.... A rejection letter from MENSA wouldnt be enough to blow your hat.. Given you bad advice the clown you see in there for me, would?... Hustle and bustle of our daily lives, finding time to unwind becoming... `` take it up with my ass because he 's the only one gives... User consent prior to running these cookies will be stored in your browser only your... A good comeback to what someone said before? girl: I doubt ever... Hardened criminals at one! the crayons to explain this to you and the situation, and would! Wo n't make yours any bigger. you born this stupid or are you teaching my! Im glad I would n't waste it on your friends at a bar when some random guy comes up hits... With this repertoire of witty replies, people will think twice before uttering snarky. Had no idea you were sixteen years old before you reach mediocre fuck you up. I #... Your momma said. decide to give, I realize what a waste of you... Doesnt mean you have you may not understand, 78 it in ; d still be just... Getting closer, so you decide to give myself to you.Girl: sorry, did I my! A way to say that you dont care about the person or thing that its said response... Tips for finding cheap Flights in 2020 wouldnt be enough to blow your hat off only you... Im glad one likes to be an asshole, at least a rock, but he take! I just did hits on you. dont care about the person or thing its.
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