If you have a problem with them, buy me something different.. Youre talking about general, being-in-the-world sounds and scents. When it was first released it was blissfully unscented, actually eliminated scents rather than covering them. FWIW, our former college president was sensitive to smells. Yes, this is what Im finding a little boggling about a lot of the comments talking about scents at home, in mattresses, sheets, etc. Typically I remove myself from the situation asap, while letting the fragrance-wearer know as gently as possible why Im bailing. I agree with you, and I think that so many of the suggestions here were way over the top. At this point, the issue is that she has a coworker whos being rude and snarky to her, not that she should just stop using bubble bath on weekends or so forth. i think many of the suggestions here are verging on unreasonable. If its not an allergic response but a sensory processing thing, for instance, there is some therapy for that, but Im not immediately finding independent measures of outcome; if its an allergy, its tough to identify just what component of scent does it if you dont test positive for something simple like lemon. Other sniffle-inducers include growths and anatomical issues, such as: Chronic sinus infections. Try using earplugs. Theyve done studies where a bunch of cotton balls are all scented with the same unscented lotion and then people rate and describe the smell of the different unnamed new scents that have different art with them. I literally invited HR to do spot checks of my cubicle to find the phantom spray. A severe reaction still doesnt make it reasonable to say to someone, Hey, go back to the drawing board and spend a couple hundred bucks on various shampoos and conditioners and styling products, waste a bunch of your time trying each one out and trying to figure out how to style your hair so you still look presentable with these new products, and cross your fingers and hope that somewhere out there is a product that is unscented but still works for you! Im not exaggerating on cost, btw if youre looking at anything more than run of the mill drugstore brands, which youd probably have to in order to find unscented things, you can easily spend $20 each on shampoo and conditioner, $25 each on a few different styling products, and there you are spending over $100 already on one single set of new products with no guarantee theyll work well for you, so you have to move on to the next $100 set of products. Don't Lose Your Cool. Even if she were aware the problem was on her side, the sensitivity would remain the same. You can put on a puzzled/pitying face and rotate in comments like, Wow, thats rude, and What a strange thing to say.. Its possible were dealing less with a misidentified scent and more with a clumsy insult. Its easy to say to OP to be bold and confront her directly but if youre like me and just dont have that type of personality, sometimes other solutions can be helpful. I have had reactions to certain smells, even one flavor of herbal tea, that makes me sneeze and sneeze. Then I read an article about misophonia and realized the problem was on my side. All rights reserved. Has your boyfriend gone to an ENT? Just because she can smell something doesnt mean its bothering her. Even the most lightly-scented of shampoos can leave a smell. I couldnt smell any cinnamon candy for years after. So People get to wash their hair and clothing and body using normal products. I have to agree . It helps keep dye from washing out of fabric, but it can also set a stain instead of removing it. Im not giving these things as excuses or to say its more important than somebodys life, just giving more variables as to why guaranteeing a scent-free environment is pretty much impossible past a certain point. Unless a colleague is burping or sniffing specifically to annoy you, you might not want to elevate the situation by lodging a complaint about her. I have to use unscented shampoo due to a skin allergy. Its driving my husband insane. Maybe its something as easy as lingering scent in a jacket; if you dont wear the jacket the scent isnt there. It does not work all the way and attempting to blow my nose is just a waste of a tissue and energy and causes me more frustration. Fully cooked blondies? yeah, the patchouli AGAIN? comment is what makes me think rude coworker over coworker with scent sensitivities. One of the things that sets me off at first is if I can taste the scent, that chemical taste in the back of my throat is an instant major asthma attack. Is your nose running a marathon? The human brain is able to play some crazy tricks on us. Copyright 2007 - 2023 Ask A Manager. but your coworkers will thank you. Yeah, this is a good point. Screw this lady. I could not smell it at all but she certainly could. Time for bending over backwards is past here. He sneezed a couple of times and made a big production about getting a tissue while saying, Oh my god!! It doesnt help with co-worker, but since what co-worker is doing can be utterly crazy making and gaslighting feeling, I hope it helps you see how it could be just her. But if she has a life-threatening allergy thats on a hair trigger, youd have to ask coworkers and their families to change everything in their routines, and Im still not sure it would work. Ah, I see you already made my point about how other people might have conflicting allergies. I guess people who are sensitive to it can smell it long after use. Psychiatry 22 years experience. I am completely sympathetic to people who are sensitive to fragrance but short of ceasing to exist there was nothing else I could have done. Thrown everything in the washer when I get home, may not wash it than and there, and take a shower before heading to bed. Do not reply with anger just because the customer is being immature and working through their anger in an unhealthy way. I used to wear Body Shop Moroccan Rose perfume and it had some staying power. So yeah. car seats? It was untrue and unkind. Im hoping it doesnt escalate to that point, but Im glad youre out of that situation now! I will stop wearing perfume for a coworkers benefit; I am not going to change my detergent, stop using my preferred soap, stop using lotion, stop using scented candles/incense/whatever around my own home or replace my furniture or clothing. I dont wear anything scented. But there is a question of how much you can accommodate a co-worker as an individual. Often people dont realize how heavy their perfumed things are, and it can interfere with others breathing & general ability to function. Its also not a popular smell for body fragrances either, which tend to be floral or fruit based. People who dont like indie-type perfumes often just categorize them all as patchouli as a catch-all for hippie smells. While a coworker may undermine you at work because of any . My coworker is constantly coughing and blowing her nose My coworker who I share an office with has been sick for the past month and a half. Oh, its called scent layering? I also tend to use unscented deodorant and laundry detergent; I really dislike how chemical-y scented products like this tend to be. Several people wrote in to say that . For real I understand if people *like* the smell of Febreeze, but seriously, its not some magical odor-disapperating powder, so dont act like its automatically preferable to any other strong scent. I love shoe sniffing stories, especially when it involves hot girls with stinky shoes. Ive been thinking of the letter recently about the ultra-allergic-to-cats coworker. It was just easier to ask me not to let it bother me and keep asking me to try new products and deal with her myself. as a manager, should I not wear a childless shirt in my off-hours? I think of my paternal grandma when I smell Jergens lotionthe cherry-almond scentand sunscreen because they lived in Corpus Christi and we always got drowned in Coppertone when we visited. Listed as smelling like sky and linen. But scented deodorant? I dont even own any alcohol-based spray-type perfumes, just oils and solid perfumes, and I still refer to them all as just perfume, so I think thats what OP meant. Most wearers would recognize such disgust like the OP did and stop wearing it but I can see others loving it so much that they would not give it up. In the last few years Ive suddenly become extremely sensitive to eating sounds. I understand that some people are extra-sensitive to smell and truly need to be accommodated, but its possible to be extra-sensitive and yet not act like the Perfume Police to ones coworkers, particularly a coworker who has already gone to significant lengths to mitigate any ill effects. If this person is truly sensitive to odours, then there could be remnants from your efforts. And laundry care routines arent always simple either my mom has allergic reactions to many common brands of detergent, so finding a new unscented brand that doesnt make her break out in hives would be, again, a trial and error process that could get expensive fast. Oh absolutely, Id figure thats part of the process, but it could still help get rid of some smells, assuming the vinegar smell washes out after . I dont know what shes smelling, but Ive done everything I can reasonably do to accommodate her needs. You dont have to turn your life upside down, especially for someone who isnt being reasonable. It dont bother me. I think the LWs coworker is bullying her and LW should respond accordingly. I have the worst reaction to it myself. We go out to eat Mexican food at least once a week, and each time I remind him at least once to chew his chips with his mouth closed. And it smelled *horrible* and wouldnt come out; I tried vinegar and Oxi-clean after about five washes and that seemed to help. Oh gosh, nothing makes you paranoid like cat pee. If the smell lasts too long, my headache can turn into a full-blown migraine. And yeah, it really makes me feel for the OP here. This type of preview may stop the interrupter before he or she starts. They say scent is our strongest memory, meaning that some smells immediately transport us to a specific person or place in time. Wow. Weve worked together on this project for about six months, and been in the same office for about three years? Because burping and sniffing are minor offenses, the employee will likely receive a minor form of discipline, such as verbal warning. Apparently it made her sick when she was pregnant with me. I worked with someone who really didnt like one of our co-workers so she was constantly making mean comments about this person scent and appearance. Ah well. When you start sniffling and sneezing, you know spring has sprung. I think that Picky Coworker is one of those types who will demand more and more concessions from LW until she has LW thoroughly buffaloed and walking on eggshells. (And if the scent is specifically patchouli, the coworker might not be bugging other coworkers because they dont carry patchouli scent. its another to try to force someone to, say, buy a new wardrobe and try pills and special washes to absolutely rule out any and all possible causes. Is there a chance that it is lingering in your hair or clothes? I like the idea to get a blunt friend to do the sniff test, but basically I think the ideas about limiting physical contact are the best way to go at this point; Im a little afraid of sending the OP down a rabbit hole of onerous scent minimization that may not solve the problem. 8 Tips on How to Deal With Difficult People at Work. At that point, I think the OP can justifiably say that shes done what she can do, and if further accommodations are needed, the coworker needs to sort that out with their employer, not with OP. Curiously enough, the first symptom I get is irritability. The jerkishness is out of line, but even if its all in her head, its still real. I cant hear what my sons saying if hes sitting next to me but facing the other direction, but cant not hear him eating popcorn from the other room. Next day had the worst hangover of my life. They ruin maple ice cream for them? SoIm thinking that could be the problem. The readers have some great ideas. Detergents, bath soaps for the kids (I still use my cheap stuff for myself though). This might be a long shot, particularly since it really just seems like your coworker is being a jerk. And if that doesnt work, go to HR. LPR causes post-nasal drip, a lump in the throat feeling, and can cause . Its your co-workers responsibility to go to their supervisor with a request for accommodation, doing the formal form filled out by a physician versus going to you each time she doesnt like the way you smells when you have done everything that you can do to accommodate her. I have allergies and am sensitive to smells (I get migraines, I once had trouble with hives on my arms due to a cleaner used on desks), but the thing is, this is my thing to deal with and while I can ask for reasonableness from other people, it ends at a point. I expected him to accommodate my scent-aversion because I lived with him! I have spoken to my manager who has spoken to my coworker several times but . I totally agree I know the OP is trying to do her best, and is frustrated about where this could be coming from. How do you think we should address this, since Ive reached the limit of what I can do?). However, consideration goes both ways and it sounds like your coworker is taking this to an extreme. If its not a health problem, and she just wants to never ever smell even a whiff of anything she doesnt like, then shes being an unreasonable jerk. That sucks you can't have headphones in. But talk to your Dr. That could be the diagnoses. Even if OP did use scented candles/incense, I think shes well within her rights to use them. All Rights Reserved. I was mortified when it happened. It sounds like your coworker is a drama llama and shes in the wrong. C: Understanding that it might not be OP, but that for a really legitimate reason coworker THINKS it is, at least unconsciously and D: the only way to take the bias out of the experiment is to NOT know where or whether OP is in the room when the test is being done. I totally read this as coworker just being a power-tripping, Mean Girls style jerk. I can tell you, its really hard for me not to come across as rude. My friend actually did his dissertation on this topic. Basically, its when a soundusually, a biological sound like eating or nail-tappingwires in to your fight-or-flight response. right now, but Ive had this schedule for about 10 years now, so my hair is used to it, and I have a whole network of people I trust to tell me if its time to wash again. If exposed long enough, the migraine will last for 4 days, so its absolutely no joke, and my productivity drops precipitously. I hope something works for the person who wrote this! 20 years later, Im still not on speaking terms with watermelons. Are the other coworkers having this issue with the coworker too? If anything, Ive been thanked by the majority of the office for saying something. But so what. I had to take it to the cleaners to get that smell. OP, is there a possibility of moving your (or her) physical location? Theyre advertising is hilarious but humans have been emitting bathroom smells since well forever. I think considerate coworkers like you should do what they can to help out other coworkers, but at the same time, you shouldnt have to give up something you enjoy using in your free time because of a work conflict. Im also all for respecting that people respond differently to things so I hope this isnt just me going off my own instincts, but I think banning wearing perfume and colognes in the workplace is acceptable in a way that banning lotion and dryer sheets and bodywash at home just is not. Spot checks of my cubicle to find the phantom spray to the cleaners to get that smell co-worker... Eating sounds and been in the same office for saying something too long, my can... How chemical-y scented products like this tend to be, i see you already my! It had some staying power coworkers having this issue with the coworker might not be other... How heavy their perfumed things are, and i think shes well within her to... Tricks on us while saying, Oh my god! is what me. 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