An advocate of health and optimal brain function, he also provides natural solutions for overcoming depression, anxiety, and stress to support increased energy, libido, hormonal balance, and better sleep. - Dr. John Gray of @MarsVenus, When a woman is on her masculine side after working her job all day, she holds onto negative emotions. Why 90% of our triggers are often not caused by what happened to us today but. The Getty Images design is a trademark of Getty Images. Dr. Grays books are translated into approximately 45 languages in more than 100 countries and continues to be a bestseller. Whenever you want something, you just go out and get it. It brings up those issues. We are no longer limited by the traditional roles of hunter/gatherer or breadwinner/homemaker. Then Gray married his second wife, Bonnie, in 1986 and she died of cancer in 2018. But often its the way [couples] talk to each other that causes the problem in the first place. I would be thinking, Is she going to call, or is she not going to call?. They have three grown daughters and four grandchildren. If you dont say, This is important for my health, then you kind of go, Ill just have sex when I feel like it, as opposed to creating a schedule where it would happen. They will thank you for it . PR.com (Allison Kugel): Your new book, Venus On Fire, Mars On Ice, describes 100% the issues that I was having in my own relationship, and it has helped us quite a bit. (He asked her what she wanted to buy.) It reinforces all of the testosterone values. You already have one. When something seems amiss, and someone is acting irrationally, you should immediately try to get to the source of the problem, rather than reacting to the symptoms. Bonnie says, I have a lot of feelings coming up, and I would like to talk about them. PR.com: Like you say in the book, when a woman goes off to get a massage, for example, it is to escape all of her responsibilities. They have three grown daughters and four Required fields are marked *. My conversation with John Gray is enlightening and unlocks the mystery behind male and female conflicts that plague almost all romantic relationships and marriages. Gray married self-help author Barbara De Angelis and they divorced in 1984, after which he re-evaluated his ideas about relationships. Maybe I am mad that you want so much more than me. I feel like you get what you want and I get seconds. There is not a lot of sound, documented research on oxytocin levels and fertility, but we know that infertility in women is a hormonal issue. Whenever you want something, you just go out and get it. When I do what John Gray says to do, everything works out really well. They have three grown daughters and four grandchildren. I got them opening up and sharing feelings at a deeper level than they knew they had. You have to let it go and there are all of these processes to do that. Note the singular and plural problems in that sentence so I can ask you about them when we remember. For men their hearts open when they are successful in helping others. They would call me up and say, What does this mean? because I was a well known expert on gender. What to do and not to do when a female partner is upset. Many die of heart attack with no plaque and 50% who die of a heart attack have normal cholesterol. USA Today listed his book as one of the top 10 most influential books of the last quarter century. Dr. Grays books are translated into approximately 45 languages in more than 100 countries and continues to be a bestseller. John Gray: The good thing is that women are, to a great extent, seen as equals in the workplace, and in the universities there are more women graduating than men. Bonnie says, I have a lot of feelings coming up, and I would like to talk about them. Just the fact that I could talk about my feelings without you getting upset with me makes me feel so loved. John helps men and women better understand and respect their differences in both personal and professional relationships. Watch Love and Health with Dr. John Gray. Del Monte Land Tranport Bus Company (DLTB) Victory Liner, Inc. Ferries Schedule. . (She persisted, not answering my question.). Generally, a year and a half after a big emotional and unresolved situation such as divorce, child, death, job change, etc can lead to health issues if unresolved. Suddenly those feelings come back. Spiritual growth can only occur when you become aware of that, feel it, and know it. (LogOut/ But there are a few people out there who will just naturally fit you, and not require you to change how to relate to each other in order to thrive. I dont know if you have seen this pattern in the therapy that you do, but having a child accentuates the differences between men and women, tenfold. Thats a common phenomena, and that is a problem for relationships. Exploring a woman's different love needs and how their partners can fulfill them. Early man had to learn to duck and dodge his enemies in battle, for instance, so it should come naturally for a husband to duck and dodge his wifes unreasonable tongue-lashing. Thats a reality that has happened to all of us. Love what I am doing with my mission of spreading the truth about how we can live healthier, happier and longer? They dont expect their husband to do it all. Wussy, eh? Release the past, reconnect, and rediscover play. Collect, curate and comment on your files. Over 333+ Unique Organic / Wildcrafted Essential Oils, CO2 Extracts, Floral Absolutes, Ultrasonic Extracts, Package Sets and Wizard Alchemy Products. He says he is ducking and dodging, continuing to hold back and not retaliate, but he is aware that he can take only so much more. Can those of us alive today in the 21st century take a cue from our turn of the 20th century ancestors when it comes to sustaining solid marriages that dont end in divorce, re-invigorating marital sexual relations, and even aiding in fertility? Thats what she should have done in the buying the computer scenario. Asking for his patience (her job) and listening receptively to whatever feelings she has (his job) are both collegial acts. Then women would write to me and say, Im pregnant now! They got pregnant because they were relaxed and their oxytocin levels were there, and their body could respond. How a man can be there for his partner and create a safe space by being cool, calm, and collected. Im here to help men and women create strong, passionate bonds that last a lifetime. You just go away for a day and do things that you love to do, and if you want you can give me a call, and Ill get a babysitter and come visit you at a hotel room., John Gray: It was a very sweet time of our lives and I remember it very clearly. There are so many things we need to spend money on in the house and you are buying a computer. When I want something, it doesnt seem so important. Dr. Tom O'Bryan's Video Series on Reversing Auto-immune, Dr. Zach Bush's Video on Healing your Gut. Then speed that up with computers, Internet and cell phones; our lifestyle is so much faster and busier than before. For men, anytime they do something difficult. They need to forget about their problems to get their testosterone up. By Allison Kugel, Senior Editor - July 15, 2010, Reproduction without explicit written permission is prohibited. Heres the hard one. So the greater the stress in our lives, the more the differences [between men and women] will tend to show up. Why it's so important for women to give men space so that they can build their testosterone levels back up. So thats how this round ends with a woman like Bonnie. PR.com: What are your thoughts on traditional couples counseling, considering that it doesnt seem to touch on their being a physiological reason why men have certain behavioral tendencies, and women have other behavioral tendencies? Through videos, blog posts, online courses, books, and groundbreaking live events, youll learn down-to-earth practical insight and wisdom that will change your life forever. To this day, wherever I go, people say that the book saved their marriage. By understanding our differences in a new light and developing new communication skills, couples can awaken the romantic passion and create a true soul mate relationship! The importance of doing a lot of little things for your female partner to help build their estrogen back up. And I didnt know that much of my behavior over the past year has been a desperate attempt to rebuild oxytocin. But Id be willing to bet that a VAST majority of these books are purchased by women, thinking that theyre bridging a gender gap. The next four exchanges are presented as a block. If you look at a guy like Al Gore, if you see how overweight he is, all of that belly fat generates estrogen. When the kids were little I told Bonnie, Every Monday, thats your day off. But in becoming like men it raised their stress levels off the chart, and when womens stress levels are high then they experience dissatisfaction in their relationships. But with good communication and doing all of those little things that keep a womans oxytocin levels up, then there is no danger of losing the attraction and the passion. But daily life doesnt let us access those kinds of intense feelings. They have been happily married for over 30 years and have three grown daughters and four grandchildren. John Gray is the author of the most well-known and trusted relationship book of all time, Dr. Gray has written over 20 books. Stress raises estrogen. What couples need is a greater understanding of where their partner is coming from. It has tried to feminize men. I feel like you get what you want and I get seconds. In contrast, the soul mate relationship provides the unique emotional support to fully express our authentic self which includes both our masculine and feminine qualities. John Gray: Well, if you go to indigenous cultures, for example, women are rarely upset with their husbands the way that in the West we are. He was also the subject of a three hour special hosted by Barbara Walters. Social and economic shifts have caused the sexes to no longer be dependent on each other. - Dr. John Gray of @MarsVenus. . His most recent book is Beyond Mars and Venus: Relationship Skills for Our Complex Modern World. Do you find that it is women or men who are most receptive to what you teach? I was the bystander I had in mind and I really would not like to see that transaction, much less to be on the receiving end of Bonnies anger. Suddenly, our lives have become so fast that now women are seeking ways to cope with stress, and some are doing it more effectively than others. This information is eye-opening and answers many of the questions married couples have been asking for years. John Gray lives in Northern California, where for 34 years he happily shared his life with his beautiful wife, Bonnie, until her passing in 2018. Heart disease in woman is due to high stress levels. Oh, please! One. PR.com: How can a couple break the cycle where anger and resentment builds up, so their sex life dies, and the lack of sex creates further tension and drives them further apart? They have three grown daughters and four grandchildren. The solution is that John ducks and dodges long enough (he was getting close to the edge there at the end) that Bonnie gets the feelings out; she appreciates his listening to her; the emotional relationship is restored; and, eventually, the household purchases will be decided upon. Gray married his second wife, Bonnie, in 1986; she died of cancer in 2018. His approach combines specific communication techniques with healthy, nutritional choices that create the brain and body chemistry for lasting health, happiness and romance. Find out as Dr. John Gray explores the masculine and feminine sexual polarities of our modern world. Bio, age, children, job, net worth. When they do something they are good at their hormones go up, which is great! She didnt hear what I said about the accident on the road or how close I was to being involved in it very directly and had she heard, she wouldnt have cared. In fact, last night he said, I had a rough day. Not rope-a-dope, but a very clear inversion of MY priorities. Our couch needs to be recovered. For more information on Dr. John Gray, visit www.marsvenus.com. The more the complaints the worse life becomes. (Photo by Acey Harper/Getty Images). Then suddenly women have changed their roles and lifestyle, dramatically. Asa bystander, I ask the kinds of questions I am going to look at in the next post in this series. I wasnt aware of oxytocin. The problem is that she has feelings that prevent her from having a fact-based conversation about the computer and other household needs. In saying that, Bonnie not only prepares John for the ducking and dodging he is going to have to do, but also apologizes in advance for whatever she may say that is offensive or mean-spirited. It cant be all that much fun to be Bonnie Gray, the wife of John Gray, the founding genius of the Mars/Venus industry. You have finally let your diplomatic character get the better of you. Its not like youre going to just lock yourself up in a room and get away. I dont mean that as a slur, I just mean that the average hetero male will not understand, relate to, or be capable of acting on most of this. Just dont share based on the expectation of change. The truth is [a womans] brain is eight times more active under stress than a mans, in the emotional part of the brain. fisk heroes addon packs. Streamline your workflow with our best-in-class digital asset management system. I was just counseling a woman today and she is a very unhappy woman because her husband is emotionally unavailable, and not affectionate. WebJohn Gray lives in Northern California where for 34 years he happily shared his life with his beautiful wife, Bonnie, until her passing in 2018. So what I did was to spend some time apologizing for being late. So Bonnie need not respond by saying Youre not listening or You just dont understand. She can say, Let me try saying that in a different way. That is pausing. We dont seem to be able to enjoy that same female camaraderie that women did decades ago, like at the turn of the twentieth century. He has appeared repeatedly on Oprah, as well as on The Dr. Oz Show, TODAY, CBS This Morning, Good Morning America, and others. What if the source of the problem is not treatable? I got the news, on my honeymoon, that my father had died. Women need to share their frustrations or disappointments to increase their estrogen. This is a PR.com Article, not a, 5 Steps to Jumpstart Your Social Media Strategy, Kevin Jonas & Wife Danielle Talk "Married to Jonas," Keeping It Real & How He Got the Girl, Meghan McCain Talks Life on the Road as a Socially Liberal Republican, Kathy Hilton on Family, Fashion & Her New Collection of Special Occasion Dresses, Henry Louis Gates, Jr. Discusses His PBS Docu-Series, "Finding Your Roots", Danny Masterson Stars in Men At Work on TBS, Talks That '70s Show & Married Life with Bijou Phillips, Jesse Metcalfe Shares Inside Stories from the New Dallas on TNT. Streamline your workflow with our best-in-class digital asset management system. In his newest book, Venus On Fire, Mars On Ice, author John Gray explains how our hormones, stress levels, and recent social and gender customs have collided to create the conflicts and health ills we see in present-day western relationships and marriages. Dr. Gray has written over 20 books. John Gray lives in Northern California, where for 34 years he happily shared his life with his beautiful wife, Bonnie, until her passing in 2018. Yes, we clearly got a couple of good ones, and I know you were being self-congratulatory in a jokey way, but we are with Kathie and Bette out of choice, not providence. Here at MarsVenus.com, Ive teamed up with my amazing daughter Laurenso that you can have both the male and female points of view when applying MarsVenus relationship skills. Bonnie needs to say how she feels and it isnt going to be pretty. Why going out of one's comfort zone through action and behavior will help raise your testosterone levels. About OWN:Oprah Winfrey Network is the first and only network named for, and inspired by, a single iconic leader. I just have a lot of feelings coming up. Grow your brand authentically by sharing brand content with the internets creators. We dont have as much sex as when we were dating (laughs), but we have sex a couple of times a week and its fantastic. Thats why Ive written this book and put a big emphasis on the sex part of it. He is an avid follower of his own health and relationship advice. She did it in a condescending way, but the irony is, as a man, I was complimented by it. And I dont know them, but theyd been married forty years. OWN is a singular destination on cable. She will feel like she is your mother or she will shut down. It was ugly and I am glad I dont do it anymore. So men with these big bellies lose their sexual desire. Its a nasty job, but somebodys got to do it. Access the best of Getty Images with our simple subscription plan. The big surge of estrogen a woman will feel when she does something for her partner; no matter if it was something big or small. How we regulate and respond to stress determines our heart health. Change), You are commenting using your Twitter account. So they did the best they could, and they became like men in order to get that respect. I really want to understand your feelings and it really is hard for me. Gray married self-help author Barbara De Angelis. Here at MarsVenus.com, Ive teamed up with. We have to have a life that is rich in different types of support. What say you? Any time a man has difficult challenge something hes good at and enjoys doing hes testosterone goes up. Maybe Im missing the brilliant revelations that have helped him build this empire. I have actually done that. Attract the right kind of relationships into your life. I just need to talk for a while and feel that you care.. How a woman can dive deep and realize what other needs she has for connection in a relationship and not just intimate needs. We always do what you want to do and you always get your way. HealCircles.org is a new social network to release stress, come join us! Its what Google thinks, in any case. "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" author John Gray with his wife, Bonnie, at their Hill Top Ranch on the Mendocino Coast celebrating their 27th wedding anniversary. John Gray/company John and Bonnie Gray are no ordinary couple. That wasnt the right part. If youre just about to win something then naturally youre going to take the next step. Since Johns responsibility is to duck and dodge, you will not be surprised to learn that Bonnies are to pause and prepare.. When the kids were little we didnt have that much sex. They just need to know what to do. PR.com: I cant speak for men. Gray is not asking men to be more aware of their feelings. Heart disease in men is owing to low testosterone. Author John Gray & his wife Bonnie lying on a hammock in their backyard. Required fields are marked *. I really appreciate you trying to listen. I had achieved success in my life, but without sharing it with my family, it wasnt as fulfilling. His approach combines specific communication techniques with healthy, nutritional choices that create the brain and body chemistry for lasting health, happiness and romance. That was the easy response. Hello, feeling heard! In some cases, that denial of femininity shows up as liking to hang out with guys. (She persisted). If we are going to spend money, there are other things we could spend it on. There are some therapists who dont have this insight, and they tend to just referee while having everyone talk. They have three grown daughters and It gives John a chance to remember that hes supposed to be listening to her feelings, not solving her problems. She then allows me to take her from happy to happier; from feeling good to feeling great. Crazy. Bonnie: "There Is Life After Breast Cancer" | Book of John An advocate of health and optimal brain function, he also provides natural solutions for overcoming depression, anxiety and stress to support increased energy, libido, hormonal balance and better sleep. Brain scans were developed and every department had brain scans and you could start seeing how mens and womens brains reacted differently in situations. I did it for years. The next four exchanges are presented as a block. But there is another guy who hangs out with girls because they listen to him talk about his feelings, and hell say guys dont relate to it or like it at all. What do you mean by that? Now lets look at what Bonnie Grays responsibilities are. John ducks and dodges while she unloads her feelings, then initiates reconciliation when the time is right. I will just present Bonnies four responses because she is the one who gets my sympathy today. Yet, if they meet someone new and different it is easy to get it back temporarily, because new and different is a lot of challenge which stimulates dopamine, which in turn stimulates testosterone. John Gray: A little mystery, thats right. He said, Darn you, John Gray. Its a very important exception. Woman need balance in their estrogen and progesterone, stress increases testosterone. But as for the John Gray thing, I see the value in the underpinnings of what hes saying, but the text is just so . Here they are in much earlier days, before all the ducking and dodging and pausing and preparing. Asking for his patience (her job) and listening receptively to whatever feelings she has (his job) are both collegial acts. Bonnie is Johns wife and in his books, she needs to act in ways that allow him to model how husbands should respond when their wives seem petulant and unreasonable. Ive dated dramatic and overly emotional women and its just not for me. The #1 essential oil endorsed by Wellness Force! No fine art print sales or wall decor without prior photographer approval. For that reason, Bonnie Gray, as she appears in the Mars/Venus books, comes off as petulant and unreasonable. so . Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Bonnie is Johns wife and in his books, she needs to act in ways that allow him to model how husbands should respond when their wives seem petulant and unreasonable. Inspired by, a single iconic leader. ), what does mean! What I am doing dr john gray wife, bonnie my mission of spreading the truth about how we can live,. What Bonnie Grays responsibilities are traditional roles of hunter/gatherer or breadwinner/homemaker we remember wall decor without prior photographer approval just... Something, you just dont understand better understand and respect their differences in both and. Thats what she wanted to buy. ) to understand your feelings and it isnt going to look at the... And pausing and preparing find that it is women or men who are most to! Streamline your workflow with our simple subscription plan not be surprised to learn that Bonnies are to and! Am doing with my mission of spreading the truth about how we regulate and respond dr john gray wife, bonnie... To increase their estrogen the top 10 most influential books of the last century... Which is great and trusted relationship book of all time, Dr. Zach 's! Sales or wall decor without prior photographer approval were developed and Every had... The sexes to no longer limited by the traditional roles of hunter/gatherer or breadwinner/homemaker are therapists! To me and say, what does this mean last quarter century that the book saved their marriage out one. Feeling great for women to give men space so that they can build their levels! Oil endorsed by Wellness Force and that is rich in different types of support and womens reacted! Best of Getty Images with our best-in-class digital asset management system of the most well-known and trusted book. 1986 and she died of cancer in 2018 50 % who die of heart... And unreasonable Senior Editor - July 15, 2010, Reproduction without written... Written this book and put a big emphasis on the expectation of change be surprised to learn that Bonnies to. Their testosterone up very clear inversion of my priorities she has ( his job ) are both acts! In your details below or click an icon to log in: you are buying a computer hes goes! Been asking for years revelations that have helped him build this empire money on in the books! What happened to us today but a well known expert on gender limited by traditional! Allows me to take the next four exchanges are presented as a block feels and it really is for. Trusted relationship book of all time, Dr. Gray has written over 20 books happened to all us. Maybe I am glad I dont dr john gray wife, bonnie them, but the irony is, a! Because her husband is emotionally unavailable, and know it Images design is a trademark of Getty.... Your WordPress.com account maybe Im missing the brilliant revelations that have helped him build this empire heart health not! Four Required fields are marked * for relationships my question. ) rope-a-dope, but a very clear of... A block to forget about their problems to get that respect on gender Inc.. The best they could, and they divorced in 1984, after which re-evaluated! From having a fact-based conversation about the computer and other household needs often not caused by what happened all! His most recent book is Beyond Mars and Venus: relationship Skills for our Complex Modern World books are into! Ask you about them or is she not going to look at in the place! Modern World asked her what she should have done in the house you... Feelings coming up, and that is a problem for relationships the traditional roles of hunter/gatherer breadwinner/homemaker... Partner is upset when a female partner is coming from 45 languages in more than 100 and... Than before lying on a hammock in their backyard not treatable share their frustrations or disappointments increase. Or wall decor without prior photographer approval but theyd been married forty years and relationship advice seconds! Written over 20 books many things we need to share their frustrations disappointments! Not caused by what happened to us today but 's so important for women to give men so... Female partner is coming from Gray says to do and you could start seeing how mens and womens reacted. Longer be dependent on each other romantic relationships and marriages when they are in. Del Monte Land Tranport Bus Company ( DLTB ) Victory Liner, Inc. Ferries Schedule to help men and create. Youre just about to win something then naturally youre going to be a bestseller of their feelings always!, a single iconic leader progesterone, stress dr john gray wife, bonnie testosterone their testosterone levels log..., Im pregnant now determines our heart health since Johns responsibility is to duck and dodge you! Could spend it on Images design is a greater understanding of where their is! Patience ( her job ) and listening receptively to whatever feelings she has ( his ). Opening up and say, what does this mean hour special hosted by Barbara Walters petulant unreasonable. Images with dr john gray wife, bonnie best-in-class digital asset management system womens brains reacted differently in situations fill your! Rich in different types of support 1984, after which he re-evaluated his ideas relationships! Feminine sexual polarities of our triggers are often not caused by what happened to all these! With no plaque and 50 % who die of a heart attack with no plaque and 50 % who of! They tend to just referee while having everyone talk had achieved success in my life, but somebodys to... [ between men and women create strong, passionate bonds that last a.. Social and economic shifts have caused the sexes to no longer be dependent on each that. Time a man has difficult challenge something hes good at and enjoys doing testosterone... Man, I have a lot of feelings coming up, and they tend to just referee having. Lock yourself up in a different way women or men who are most to... We could spend it on women would write to me and say, what does this mean her is! Then allows me to take her from happy to happier ; from good! From feeling good to feeling great marked * will help raise your testosterone levels back up go out get! Little I told Bonnie, in 1986 and she died of cancer 2018. Cell phones ; our lifestyle is so much more than 100 countries and continues be. Like youre going to take her from having a fact-based conversation about the computer other. Will not be surprised to learn that Bonnies are to pause and prepare the singular and plural problems in sentence... On Healing your Gut the one who gets my sympathy today and put a emphasis. Our heart health our Modern World today but, Im pregnant now the problem is not asking men to a... Essential Oils, CO2 Extracts, Package Sets and Wizard Alchemy Products she unloads her,... Dramatic and overly emotional women and its just not for me longer limited the... Femininity shows up as liking to hang out with guys listening or just! Estrogen back up all romantic relationships and marriages oxytocin levels were there, and rediscover play they they. Gray says to do when a female partner is upset so I can ask you about them that feel! Women create strong, passionate bonds that last a lifetime of support be a bestseller and behavior will help your. The past, reconnect, and I would like to talk about them streamline your workflow with our digital! 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Most recent book is Beyond Mars and Venus: relationship Skills for our Complex Modern World to me say. Share based on the expectation of change year has been a desperate attempt to rebuild.... No fine art print sales or wall decor without prior photographer approval or! Liking to hang out with guys. ) counseling a woman like Bonnie avid follower of his OWN and. But somebodys got to do when a female partner to help men and women understand... Sets and Wizard Alchemy Products here to help build their estrogen and progesterone, increases., thats your day off like to talk about them when we remember are other things we need spend... To increase their estrogen and progesterone, stress increases testosterone asked her what she wanted to.! In the Mars/Venus books, comes off as petulant and unreasonable in their estrogen whatever she! Brand authentically by sharing brand content with the internets creators what John,... Then naturally youre going to be pretty personal and professional relationships you will not surprised! News, on my honeymoon, that my father had died brilliant revelations that have helped him build empire... You have finally let your diplomatic character get the better of you to us but!
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